THE Mother Of the Bride MENTALITY

Mother of the Bride Dresses: Black Tie Optional and Formal

Black tie optional and formal evening weddings call for very formal wear. Because they are evening events, darker colors are called for.

The Father of the Bride can't go wrong wearing a tux to a black tie optional wedding. If he chooses, he could wear a dark well-made, well-fitting suit ... which would also be the appropriate wear for a formal evening event.

Formal daytime weddings still call for formality, with the Father of the Bride wearing a good suit and tie. Because it is a daytime event, the Mother of the Bride could wear lighter colors.

While a black tie optional wedding typically still calls for the formality of a floor-length gown, the Mother of the Bride would be acceptably dressed in a formal -- key word, formal -- dress of any length. The fabric and detailing on the dress and the accessories worn play a big part in creating the element of formality. Black tie optional and formal weddings always call for heels and an appropriately formal dress purse. Keep that in mind and you can't go wrong!

1. ABS by Allen Schwartz gown at Nordstrom's, Linea Paolo shoes at Nordstrom's, Amarie purse
2. Christina Gowns, Via Spiea shoe at Nordstrom's, purse from Accessory Bug  
3. Henri Josef gown, Christian Louboutin shoes and Judith Leiber clutch via The Purse Blog

I love the punch of color the red shoes and purse give that black dress (love the dress too!).

What do you think about adding color to an otherwise solid outfit?

Mother of the Bride Dresses: Black Tie Attire

Elegance is the theme for a black tie event.

Tuxedo with cumberbund, white shirt, bow tie, and patent leather shoes are a Father of the Bride's ensemble for the evening.

A Mother of the Bride can't go wrong with any of the gowns from our White Tie inspiration board. She would be outfitted equally correct -- and oh, so beautifully -- in any formal floor-length gown, tea-length dress, or formal separates like the one in the center below. Add heels (a must!) and a cute little clutch, and the Mother of the Bride will be perfectly dressed for the day!

1. Rina Dimontella gown at Brides.com, Stuart Weitzman shoes at Nordstrom's, Carlo Fellini clutch at Nordstrom's  

2. Siri tea-length dress, Jacqueline Ferrar shoe at JC Penney, Carlo Fellini clutch at Nordstrom's  
3. Jordan Fashions gown, Paris Hilton shoe at Macy's, Worthington clutch at JC Penney

Barbie only wishes she had some of these Black Tie ensembles! I love the little gold clutch...which one would you carry?

Rehearsal Dinners

I was recently contacted by Kathy Goodman of Well Rehearsed about a recent event that she was involved with. I learned about Kathy and her company and just had to share the information with you! While she is in the San Francisco area, Well Rehearsed can work with you to put together an event design plan that you can take to your local vendors.

Well Rehearsed specializes in creating -- or helping you create, if that's your choice -- unique rehearsal dinners that will have your guests saying, "WOW! That was a great way to kick off the wedding celebration!" What I especially like about Well Rehearsed is that Kathy stresses the importance of "keeping the event balanced and appropriately complementing or contrasting the wedding day itself."  While the Rehearsal Dinner is a special event...it's not the main event.

You can tailor your Rehearsal Dinner planning to suit your needs, desires, and budget. Well Rehearsed offers the following services:

• Enjoy the Celebration - They do it all...you sit back and enjoy
• More Than Just a dinner - Their assistance in planning, your execution.
• A La Carte - Help with venue selection, on-site event coordination, consultations on other wedding events

Well Rehearsed Rehearsal Dinners showcase the personality and interests of the bride and groom.  Here are a few examples of their great events.

Jon and Jen's love of travel:

Cathy and Brian's Chinese and American heritages:


Luke and Kirsten's love of USC football:
 

Well Rehearsed strives to create one-of-a-kind Rehearsal Dinners that create a personalized experience for the bride and groom and guests alike.

Which of the theme events pictured above was your favorite?

Etiquette: Decifering Dress Codes

In my ever-so-humble opinion, unless the dress code is Black or White Tie or Beach or Informal/Casual, putting a dress code on the wedding invitation isn't necessary.  Most people will determine what to wear based on the time of day and location of the wedding.  Or they'll ask for guidance from the bridal couple, wedding party, or families.

That said, here's a general guideline for dress codes.  Check back in weeks to come for pictures of Mother of the Bride attire for each category!

NOTE: This list applies specifically to weddings and may differ slightly than the dress codes for other types of events.

MOB's Guide to Wedding Dress Codes

White Tie (Evenings Only): Ultra formal - the hoityest of the toityest

• Full tuxedos with white vest, white shirt, and white tie/Floor length gowns

Black Tie (Evenings Only): Elegantly formal

• Tuxedos/Floor or tea length gowns

Black Tie Optional (Evening Only): Very formal

• Tuxedo or dark suit and tie/Any length formal dress (typically darker colors)

Formal: Elegant with darker colors for evening and lighter colors for daytime

• Suit and tie/Any length formal dress

Semiformal: Better than Sunday Best clothing

• Suit or slacks and jacket (tie optional)/Cocktail dress with heels

Dressy Casual: Sunday Best clothing

• Slacks with long-sleeved shirt (jacket and tie optional)/Dressy dress with heels

Beach Formal: Elegant but summery

• Lightweight slacks and nice shirt - tucked in (jacket preferred but tie optional)/Lightweight dressy dress any length and sandals

Beach Casual: Lightweight party wear

• Lightweight slacks and nice, casual shirt (untucked acceptable)/Lightweight dress (typically knee or tea length) and sandals

Informal/Casual: Business casual attire

• Slacks with polo shirt or buttoned long- or short-sleeved shirt/Casual dress or skirt with nice top and sandals

Remember...the Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom's dresses are guided by the length and formality of the bridesmaids dresses!

Don't forget to check back in weeks to come for pictures of Mother of the Bride, Father of the Bride, and male/female guest attire for each category!

Have you ever attended a white tie event?

Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom Dresses: Special Event

Well Rehearsed, an event planning company that focuses on designing fabulous rehearsal dinners, is partnering with Neiman Marcus in Palo Alto in a fashion event for Mothers of the Groom and Mothers of the Bride. It's a great opportunity to check out the latest and greatest wedding and rehearsal dinner attire!

RSVP IS NEEDED BY MONDAY, JULY 20! Seating is limited.

Come back to The MOB Mentality next week for more information about Well Rehearsed -- rehearsal dinner pix included!

 

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Mother of the Bride Dresses: Hats

POST UPDATED TO ADD: An invitation to our British MOBs...please share with us your thoughts on hats...as they are worn more often at British weddings than those in America. Thank you!!!

I am not a hat wearer. I didn't like wearing Easter bonnets as a little girl. When I -- rarely -- wear a baseball cap, it feels like a vise around my head.

But.....

My head was turned by this spectacular outfit I saw on The Compton House of Fashion website.

... I could be swayed. After all, I could wear it for the ceremony and pictures and then take it off before the vise tightens.

So...I looked around their online shop a little more -- keeping in mind, of course, my post yesterday about whether or not a Mother of the Bride should wear a hat.

Here are more of their gorgeous chapeau offerings (and I love the dresses that go along with them!) that a Mother of the Bride could feel comfortable wearing:

Are you thinking of wearing a hat?

Mother of the Groom Dresses: Length

Though The MOB wasn't directly asked this question, recently there have been several searches concerning this subject that have directed searchers to this site. Since there's the interest, let's pretend that the following is a real Mother of the Groom question that I am answering.

Dear MOB:

    What length dress should I wear to my son's wedding? I don't want to do the wrong thing...

Signed,
Uncertain

Dear Uncertain:
    First, I want to commend you on your delightful attitude towards your future daughter-in-law and wanting to please her on such a special day!

    Here's what tradition has to say about the subject:

• Traditionally, the Mother of the Bride chooses her dress first. Her dress should coordinate (meaning, not clash in color or formality) with the bridesmaids dresses. For instance, she shouldn't choose a knee length sundress if the bridesmaids will be wearing formal, long gowns.
• Again following tradition, the Mother of the Bride then is supposed to subtly let you, the Mother of the Groom, know what she has chosen.
• Rolling along on the tradition train, you would then choose a dress to coordinate with both the Mother of the Bride's dress and the bridesmaids dresses (again, no clashing in color or formality). For you, however, this coordination also extends to length. Tradition says your dress should be the same length as the Mother of the Bride's dress.

    I was on board with tradition until we got to the part about length. Pooh, I say! Basically, the idea is to create a consistent look for pictures. I do agree that neither the Mother of the Bride nor the Mother of the Groom want to clash in color or formality with the bridesmaids.

    But the length thing...in my opinion, that's kind of old school/high society. I think today's weddings are less about the rules and more about individual personality and style, don'tcha think? If someone looks at the wedding pictures and only sees that the Mother of the Groom's knees are showing, while only the tips of the Mother of the Bride's toes are peeking out, then 30 lashes to them with a wet noodle! What they should really be seeing is the happiness and love on the bride's and groom's faces--and not the Mother of the Bride or the Mother of the Groom's head, shoulders, knees, or toes.

    As with most decisions about the wedding, I say: ASK THE BRIDE!!! The Bride may think that as long as the Mother of the Groom's dress doesn't clash in color or formality with anybody else, the length doesn't matter. She may think that as long as the Mother of the Groom finds a dress that she feels pretty and confident wearing, the length doesn't matter. On the other hand, she may feel strongly that your dress be the same length as her mother's...and that's perfectly, absolutely fine. It's her day...she decides.

    So, dear Uncertain, ask your lovely FDIL what she would like. Touch her hand, look her in the eye, and tell her you want her to be happy with what you are wearing. She'll tell you what will make her happy ... and I know that making her happy will make you happy. (phew...that's alot of happys!)